Book Review - I want to feel how I felt when I met you

I want to feel How I felt When I met you

Author: Emily Grace Hart

The title itself throws light on a predicament most if not all modern-day couples in long term relationships feel like. Life has gotten competitive, complicated, and tough. The world is changing constantly, global inflation, political turmoil, social media, 24/7 news channels creating a sense of urgency and panic. All these are putting undue pressure on one of the basic human needs – companionship, love, and attachment. Couples that once felt passionately in love are trying to figure out where things went wrong and how the intensity of their feelings have gotten so dampened.

Neatly organized into three distinctive section I want to feel how I felt when I met you is a great guide to couples who are going through this dampened state of settling into their companionship. Written in a chatty, easy to read style with anecdotes and stories of couples going through this phase, this book provides several insights, ideas, and tricks for course correction and reignite relationships. The first section appropriately titled “Why Love Fades – Understanding the Hidden Forces That Change Your Relationship” sets the context on the science behind relationships. The chapters talk about early love, characterized by the dominance of two neurotransmitters dopamine and oxytocin. Chemicals that create a mesmerizing mix of passion, attachment, and obsession. Overtime serotonin, another neurotransmitter, takes over and creates a stable attachment situation making the couple feel safe, secure, and bonded to each other, writes Emily Grace Hart.

Putting it rather bluntly Hart reveals: “Most couples don’t realize when the shift from passion to routine begins. They expect it to be a dramatic event, some obvious moment when things change. But it rarely works that way. Emotional disconnection doesn’t happen all at once—it happens slowly, subtly, almost invisibly. And that’s exactly what makes it so dangerous.” Then goes on further to illustrate the same with real life examples of couples and then talks about how each couple fixed their relationship and reignited the passion for each other.

Part two titled How to Reignite Passion and Connection gives the reader a detailed ‘do-it-yourself’ style of techniques to revive the playfulness, fun, passion, and emotional connection, in a natural no-pressure style. Writing about the simple art of flirting in a long-term relationship, Hart emphasizes that flirting is “about bringing back playfulness and attraction” into the dynamic of couples.

The last part appropriately titled Mastering Love That Lasts Forever, Hart delves into the secrets of how to keep passion and connection alive throughout and do this without effort and naturally. The book also gives tips to couples to prevent the drift again and grow the relationship into a saga of passion.

The main strengths of this book are in its presentation and writing style. The presentation is almost conversational, casual, and chatty at the same time breaking down the complexities of emotions and feelings. Hart does not use superfluous language of euphemisms in her text, rather she is empathetic and relatable. There is no preaching in the book, rather it offers practical strategies for couples seeking to reinvigorate their relationships. The emphasis is on small daily actions rather than grandiose displays of affection. The focus is on steps to take to reconnect emotionally, physically, and psychologically and build lasting, fulfilling relationships.