Building Healthy Relationships and Self-understanding

 Anxious Attachment Workbook – 5-in-1 – The complete system for healing, recovery and secure attachment; by Gerald Confienza; Dreamstorm Publications, 300pp

Building, maintaining, and thriving in a relationship takes a lot of hard work, not in terms of physical labor but in terms of mental, emotional, and psychological tasks. I recently read this book Anxious Attachment Workbook by Gerald Confienza in which the author explains the concept of anxious attachment and how to overcome it to build strong, sustaining, and secure relationships. Anxious attachment is the feeling of constant insecurity and fear of abandonment. Like when one is starting a new relationship and is always eager to hear from their mate immediately and gets anxious if there is a delay in messaging/ response.

Often times we blame ourselves for failures/ problems in relationships and this ends up with us questioning our intrinsic worth, among others. But when one is trained to identify these patterns of behavior and modify them it is possible to build healthy relationships. The Anxious Attachment Workbook is a guide to do exactly that. Divided into five sub-books this compilation starts off with an introductory book about anxious attachment that helps readers understand, identify triggers, breaking negative patterns, and move to the path of secure attachment.

The other books titled Healing from Childhood Trauma and its role in anxious attachment; Cultivating secure attachment and healthy relationships; anxiety in relationships – managing emotional triggers; and finally a section on Breaking free from emotional dependency will guide readers through the complexities of attachments and how to build healthy secure relationships. Indeed this book is a must read for those with unresolved childhood problems, those getting married, those in relationships, and those looking for one too.

Guide to Happy and Fulfilling Relationship for adults with Autism and/or ADHD

You, Me, & AuDHD – Relationship Tools for Adults with Autism and ADHD by Lili Castille; Montego Books LLC; 348pp.

Modern world is tough for individuals with no psychological challenges. Add a mix of autism spectrum or attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, life can be extremely difficult and often depressing. Most people tend to avoid and/ or even express phobia about being around neurodivergent individuals. Parents with children who experience these conditions are often overprotective or at times frustrated with the way the world interacts with them.

There are simply not enough teaching-learning activities happening in schools to make people aware of how to interact with neurodivergent individuals. This often leads to people with autism/ ADHD being misunderstood and often excluded from mainstream society. I am glad I came across the book You, Me, & AuDHD – Relationship Tools for Adults with Autism and ADHD by Dr. Lili Castille, a distinguished neurodiverse psychologist specializing in adult relationships with Autism and ADHD. In her long career in counselling and human development she has developed several innovative strategies to enhance communication and relationships across cultures.

This book comes as a breath of fresh air into a world of ignorance about these conditions. The book is aimed at improving emotional communication and fostering social skills by participating in engaging activities. The author’s professed take away for the reader is for the volume to be a guide to building a fulfilling and harmonious partnership with an autistic and/or ADHD partner. Starting with an introduction about Autism and ADHD Castille dives deep into neurodiversity in relationships. “Neurodiversity isn’t just a set of diagnoses – it’s a way of experiencing, feeling, and connecting with the world,” declares Castille in the very first chapter.

Misconceptions about people with autism and/ or ADHD and love are effortlessly clarified for the reader in an easy-to-read conversational style of writing. The entire volume is liberally peppered with real life examples of couples grappling with ADHD/ Autism grappling with relationship issues and overcoming them to live a comfortable, happy, and harmonious life. A very important resource in this book is several solo and couple exercises. These exercises guide the reader to understand and analyze the value they bring to a relationship so needs can be communicated with confidence, clarity, and empathy.

Several common problems/ challenges faced by neurodivergent couples are analyzed and addressed across the 32 chapters in this book. Each chapter addresses a specific topic of building, nurturing, and strengthening relationships of neurodivergent individuals/ couples. Communication styles, rage, meltdowns, intimacy, physical connection, change navigation, growth, and several other important topics are discussed in depth. The book concludes with a reference section to help those interested in enhancing knowledge reach the original sources of knowledge.

Inspirational Stories from Real Life Icons

Interesting Stories for Curious Kids – Fascinating Tales of Real-Life Heroes, Remarkable Events, and Historical Wonder to Ignite a Passion for History and Lifelong Learning by Finn Manning; 91 pp

Modern day media is full of reports of disturbance, crime, pop culture, natural disasters, climate change, etc. One would get an idea that everything is gloom and doom and people are just being entitled, ungrateful, selfish, and hastening the demise of the world as we know it. There are few and far between positive stories about people who have overcome great odds to succeed, help, inspire entire populations, and set examples for everyone else to emulate.

In this kind of scenario Finn Manning presents a new inspirational volume titled Interesting Stories for Curious Kids, a compilation of inspirational stories of real-life heroes, incidents in the past that have changed the course of history, people who have changed the world with their simple determination, goodness, and character. “Throughout history, incredible people and cultures have risen who stood out as inspiring. Their stories are carried on to everyone with a curious mind to listen to the tales of their glory,” writes Manning introducing the tone of the rest of the volume.

The book is choc-a-block with 91 pages of brief, interesting, and engaging stories that seamlessly combine historical personalities, and events with current scenario to drive home the lessons that will shape people’s lives. It is obvious the author aimed this book at kids as evidenced by the title, I think everyone can benefit from this book. Children, adolescents, and adults can get inspired from the stories about people who overcame great odds to change the world.

The compact 91-page volume starts off with a chapter on courageous explorers who ventured out of the comfort of their homes and explored the deep oceans, distant lands, and mapped the world. Today with a GPS, fast transportation, and global positioning systems one can go anywhere across the world, but a few centuries ago it was almost impossible. A chapter on innovators and dreamers follows in which people like Nikola Tesla, Thomas Alva Edison, Marie Curie, and many other scientists are profiled and their life journeys explained.

Each personality is introduced in a fun, relatable manner, even children will find this interesting. Young readers learn important history lessons in a fun, exciting, story telling format. The entire book is written in a very accessible tone, which shows a certain amount of respect to the reader. The book stimulates young minds to wonder, ask questions, and dig deeper, be it about science, historical events, or about people. The variety of topics this book covers is something that no text book can do. Encyclopedias would cover them but then they are usually verbose and voluminous. I would recommend this book for every family with children over 8, schools, libraries and any place where people with a curious mind are often present.

Good Resource for Parents

Raising Mentally Strong and Securely Attached Kids: The 5-Part Parenting Blueprint to Raise Resilient, Socially Successful, and Emotionally Intelligent Children by Vivian Whitmore; 176pp 

Today’s parents are facing an information overload about raising children. There are numerous online and offline resources that claim to teach the right method to raise children to be smart and successful. It is hard to discern which of these sources of information is right. In this situation it is always best to rely on sources that draw from science, psychology, and technology. 

Vivian Whitmore’s Raising Mentally Strong and Securely Attached Kids is a new age 5-part book that gives hope to parents struggling to raise their children to be mentally strong, socially successful, emotionally intelligent, and resilient children. The book is full of valuable information for parents with children of all ages. With its treasure of exercises and activities the book breaks down complex parenting concepts into simple easy to follow steps. 

Divided into five easy to read sections, each dealing with attachment, secure attachment, emotional intelligence, recognizing problems, and social success, the book is a solid primer for parents, teachers, and even grandparents or anyone who deals with children in a preceptor role. 

 The first section details attachment and distinguishes between secure and insecure attachment and the long impacts thereof. The second section builds on the first by detailing foundations of secure attachment, and leads into building resilience as a skill, emotional intelligence for improved connections and how to parent mindfully and recognize generational patterns. I particularly liked the fifth and last section which deals with social success. In today’s world this is vital to lead a fulfilled life. This section provides guidance on strategies to help children overcome social challenges, teaching them empathy and gratitude, and communication skills – all important for real-world success. The only feature of the book I am not particularly impressed is the layout and typography. The book looks like a scholarly publication aimed at academics rather than something aimed at young and middle adults. The book is text heavy with several bulleted lists with absolutely no relief in the form of graphs, pictures, and/ or illustrations. This content is valuable but presentation needs to be improved to get the message across more effectively.

Tips to monitor behavior and lead a better life!

The Practical CBT+DBT+ACT Workbook (10 in 1) by Andrew C Hinkelberg

250+ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy + Dialectical Behavior Therapy + Acceptance & Commitment Therapy + Vagus Nerve, Somatic Exercises and Tools for Beginners.

Life throws challenges at us constantly, our response to these situations can make the difference between success and failure. Even though the world is advancing in technology that is supposed to make life easier for everyone, these very advantages present unintended challenges too. This in turn places people at risk for anxiety, depression, labile moods, and emotional turmoil. Not everyone is naturally equipped with the mindset, skills, and knowledge to handle these complex situations/ feelings and respond in a positive manner.

It is important to have a set of guiding principles or tips to face these situations and challenges bravely, come out emotionally unscathed, and lead life positively. Andrew C. Hinkelberg, a mental health coach with many years of experience helping individuals navigate these very challenges successfully has written a book to address this lacuna.  Appropriately titled The Practical CBT+DBT+ACT Workbook (10 in 1), Hinkleberg details over 250 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) + Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) + Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) + Vagus Nerve, Somatic Exercises and Tools for Beginners that will help face diverse situations and come out victorious.

Starting with an introduction about why this book is needed and how one can use this resource to lead better lives, Hinkelberg writes: “With the knowledge you gain throughout this book, you will start viewing setbacks as steppingstones that help you grow. Discovering resilience and inner peace during turbulent times can make navigating them more accessible.” The chapters in this easy-to-read, conversational style book are full of real life anecdotes about normal people who were able to use these techniques and thrive in challenging situations. Writing about the core principles of CBT, the author goes into detail about how to understand cognitive distortions; practice behavioral activation; questioning and finally working from home to combat the negative effects.

Divided into ten chapters, this book includes exercises for the readers to identify and modify behavioral patterns, crisis survival techniques, meditation techniques; somatic practices for emotional well-being; breathing practices to stimulate the vagus nerve, etc. The book concludes with a reiteration on the importance of regularly updating and reviewing strategies to keep them relevant to changing life situations.

Overall this is a great resource for everyone who wants to become self-aware and interact with the world in a much more positive manner.

Empowering Teens with social skills and Time and money management

Glow-up Life skills for Teens from Legacy Spark Press 119 pp

Today’s teens are under extreme pressure from all quarters of life. Gone are the days of just having fun teenage years with friends, parties, movies, and sports. Today’s teens are busy juggling jobs, social life, education, skills, and already trying to build a future. Not all teens are naturally endowed with the talent to excel all these areas or even in one of them. In order to help all teens learning these vital life skills the Legacy Spark Press has come out with the “Glow-up Life Skills for Teens – A Guide to Master Time Management, Enhance Social Skills and achieve Financial Literacy to thrive in the real-world,” a short 119-page volume of information, tips, and tricks.

Inspiring Story of Soccer Legend

Ronaldo Built for Greatness by Max Reed

I like to read biographies to learn about how some people were able to achieve greatness. The stories of triumph against odds, childhood traits that sets these people ahead of others in their generation is what makes for a learning filled read. One such book I recently read is Ronaldo Built for Greatness by Max Reed.

This book chronicles the inspiring life story of Cristiano Ronaldo the soccer great who has become a household name across the world. Born as Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro in a small island Madeira, far from the big cities, into humble beginnings, he started playing soccer barefoot on the streets. Ronaldo had dreams of becoming the best soccer player in the world, people constantly discouraged him and told him it was impossible. But Ronaldo persisted, the more discouraging words he heard the stronger his resolve became to play better. 

In the introduction to Ronaldo itself Reed makes it clear that this soccer great had some qualities that set him apart like his work ethic, not giving up on his dream, self belief, among others. Further the book leads into 10 chapters each detailing a different anecdote from Ronaldo's life; his wild childhood; leaving home at 12; early struggles in England, etc. Each chapter has a subtle lesson to the reader a inspiring message something that everyone can aspire for. 

The book ends with two amazing sections a chapter on Ronaldo Trading Cards which features 25 fun illustrated cards that detail fun facts and trivia. Then there is the 25 question trivia quiz which soccer fans can check their knowledge with.