Guide to Happy and Fulfilling Relationship for adults with Autism and/or ADHD

You, Me, & AuDHD – Relationship Tools for Adults with Autism and ADHD by Lili Castille; Montego Books LLC; 348pp.

Modern world is tough for individuals with no psychological challenges. Add a mix of autism spectrum or attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, life can be extremely difficult and often depressing. Most people tend to avoid and/ or even express phobia about being around neurodivergent individuals. Parents with children who experience these conditions are often overprotective or at times frustrated with the way the world interacts with them.

There are simply not enough teaching-learning activities happening in schools to make people aware of how to interact with neurodivergent individuals. This often leads to people with autism/ ADHD being misunderstood and often excluded from mainstream society. I am glad I came across the book You, Me, & AuDHD – Relationship Tools for Adults with Autism and ADHD by Dr. Lili Castille, a distinguished neurodiverse psychologist specializing in adult relationships with Autism and ADHD. In her long career in counselling and human development she has developed several innovative strategies to enhance communication and relationships across cultures.

This book comes as a breath of fresh air into a world of ignorance about these conditions. The book is aimed at improving emotional communication and fostering social skills by participating in engaging activities. The author’s professed take away for the reader is for the volume to be a guide to building a fulfilling and harmonious partnership with an autistic and/or ADHD partner. Starting with an introduction about Autism and ADHD Castille dives deep into neurodiversity in relationships. “Neurodiversity isn’t just a set of diagnoses – it’s a way of experiencing, feeling, and connecting with the world,” declares Castille in the very first chapter.

Misconceptions about people with autism and/ or ADHD and love are effortlessly clarified for the reader in an easy-to-read conversational style of writing. The entire volume is liberally peppered with real life examples of couples grappling with ADHD/ Autism grappling with relationship issues and overcoming them to live a comfortable, happy, and harmonious life. A very important resource in this book is several solo and couple exercises. These exercises guide the reader to understand and analyze the value they bring to a relationship so needs can be communicated with confidence, clarity, and empathy.

Several common problems/ challenges faced by neurodivergent couples are analyzed and addressed across the 32 chapters in this book. Each chapter addresses a specific topic of building, nurturing, and strengthening relationships of neurodivergent individuals/ couples. Communication styles, rage, meltdowns, intimacy, physical connection, change navigation, growth, and several other important topics are discussed in depth. The book concludes with a reference section to help those interested in enhancing knowledge reach the original sources of knowledge.